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The identity of people is shaped by their cultural traditions and familial surroundings

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The identity of people is shaped by their cultural traditions and familial surroundings

Every person belongs to a certain group, be it a family, a culture, a race, a language, a religion or any other group. They identify themselves with such groups. Personally, my experience about my family and my language gives me an identity. I am an American with Indian roots since my grandfathers migrated to the US from India. My identity has been largely shaped by my family, the people that I have closely lived with and grown to know as family. Since I was a child, my family has been practicing Hinduism, both as a religion and as a way of life. In this regard, I grew up also practicing the religion, associating with people of the same religion and even speaking the same language (Hindu). Therefore, I can attest that it is the people that I grew up around that have influenced my identity. I can identify myself as an American but with Indian ancestry, while my religion is still Hindu where I practice all the culturally acceptable aspects and conduct myself according to the norms and principles of the Hindu culture and religion. Both my family and my religion have shaped my identity. Comment by Lauren: This is an example of a run-on sentence. These occur when multiple clauses are strung together without a break in the sentence. For instance, “The dog ran around the street, and he went to swim in the lake, and for dinner he had a bowl of wet food” has three distinctive clauses and this causes it to appear overly wordy. One way to fix this is by breaking up the sentences like so: “The dog ran around the street and then went to swim in the lake. Later, he had a bowl of wet food for dinner.”

There are also several evidences from the stories provided in the class readings that show how identity of people is shaped by their cultural traditions and familial surroundings. For instance, the poem “Advice to My Son” by Peter Meinke points out how family is important for any man who wants to marry. Meinke says “Marry a pretty girl after seeing her mother” which directs readers to believe that family is important in ascertaining the character and identity of a person. If the man meets the mother of the pretty girl, he will have a clear picture of her identity because most girls are always brought up by their moms and they tend to emulate the culture and core values fostered to them by their mothers. Therefore, meeting the girls mother is an important way of establishing her background before making a decision of marrying her, since at least the man will have known the identity of the girl that he wants to marry, which is shaped by family, especially the mother in this case. Comment by Lauren: Since you have a direct quote here, you will need to use an internal citation. When citing a poem, it is typical to include the line number that the quote starts on in your citation (you would also need the author’s last name if you hadn’t previously mentioned him in the sentence as you did). Comment by Lauren: Here you have two independent clauses separated by a coordinating conjunction (these are words such as “and”, “but”, and “so” that connect two independent clauses). A comma is required before the coordinating conjunction. For instance, rather than writing “The dog was barking so the neighbors woke up” I would use a comma as such: “The dog was barking, so the neighbors woke up.” Comment by Lauren: Since your thesis states, “Both my family and my religion have shaped my identity”, the main purpose of your essay should be to illustrate this claim. While you are expected to use outside evidence from the readings, this evidence should be integrated into your own personal experiences to strengthen the statements you make about the connection between your family/religion and your identity. Therefore, for each example from the readings you provide, you should connect it to your own experiences, rather that presenting it as an isolated idea.

Another evidence from the readings that show that someone’s identity is influenced by family is from Nikki Giovani’s poem “Mothers”. From the poem, it is apparent that the persona’s identity was greatly influenced by his mother, the family. The persona keeps on mentioning things about his mother, how she raised him and taught him a poem. In fact, it was the poem of seeing the moon that the persona came to each his son many years later, just to pass down the good poem that he was taught by his mom to his son. The poem points out that the behavior and identity of the persona was greatly shaped by his mother, because in the poem, she is the person that he spent most time with while he was a kid. That is the reason even as an adult, he still identifies himself with his mum and can teach his son practically the best things he inherited from his mother as part of the identity. Comment by Lauren: Again, you will need to connect this evidence to your own story, as the purpose of this paper is to present a claim of value that connects to your identity and family heritage.

Another good example of people’s identity being influenced by their surrounding is the story of “Everyday Use” by Alice Walker. In the story, Dee is sent to school in august and that means that she was separated from her family, especially the upbringing of her mother. While at school, Dee attained a world of ideas and education that she constantly brought home with her. After finishing school, Dee is not the same person as the one who had left the home for schooling. She had developed new characters, new personalities and even new identity. This shows that her identity had been shaped by the people around her, which were not family in this case because she was sent away to a boarding school. in the story, Dee does not want to associate with her family anymore, she even claims that she has already changed her name and adopted a new identity name of Wangero Leewanika Kemanjo and thus she has dropped her name Dee assigned to her at birth. She has a new boyfriend whom her mother does not approve. This shows that her identity was shaped by the place she was living while away from home, probably in the school she was sent. This story is a clear depiction of the fact that people tend to be influenced by their surrounding to develop their identity, personality and character.

Scholarly insight into family and self-identity

There are a lot of scholarly materials that point out the relationship between identity development and family knowledge and history. For instance, according to Haydon’s, study on family and identity, it is apparent that identity development entails an individual attaining personal autonomy from the family of origin while still having a positive relationship to the family (Hydon, 55). The findings indicate that having a strong family knowledge and strong family tie exerts a great influence on the development of an identity of an individual. Such findings have immediate and practical implications for parents and other immediate persons like teachers, religious leaders, and other family members or family friends who directly interact with children and impact the behaviors of the children in certain direction. Comment by Lauren: Since this is all a single clause of the sentence, it is unnecessary to use a comma after “Haydon’s”, as this would imply a shift or separation of ideas. Comment by Lauren: Again, this is a bit of a run-on sentence. Consider condensing your phrasing or splitting this into two sentences to make the information more easily digestible for the reader.

Our core values of excellence and integrity entail valuing and celebrating how unique an individual is and their strengths. In this regard, if a person’s identity is different from our identity, we take time to value and respect it instead of mocking and discriminating them. The integrity core values entail respecting the confidentiality of others in a manner that is trustworthy. All these core values point out that respect is key in everything. Even in matters of success, respecting other people is one important factor that makes our school very successful. Comment by Lauren: Your essay seems to have strayed from your main thesis that “Both my family and my religion have shaped my identity.” Again, I would suggest integrating the evidence from your readings into a discussion of your own experiences, so that you maintain the focus on the relationship between your core value and your identity/family history.

 

References Comment by Lauren: For MLA format, this should be titled “Works Cited”. The title should also be centered on the page.

Haydon, Clive Gordon. “The Relationship Between Identity Development and Family History Knowledge.” (2010).

Meinke, J. P. (1965). Advice to My Son. The Antioch Review25(3), 374-374.

Nikki Giovanni, “Mothers” from My House. Copyright © 1972 by Nikki Giovanni. Used with the permission of HarperCollins Publishers. Comment by Lauren: There appear to be some inconsistencies in your presentation of the publication date ie. “(2010)., “Copyright 1972”, “,2004”. Ensure that these sources are properly formatted as dictated by an MLA documentation style guide:https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/research_and_citation/mla_style/mla_formatting_and_style_guide/mla_works_cited_page_basic_format.html

Walker, Alice. Everyday use. Recording for the Blind & Dyslexic, 2004.

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